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Under the clear blue November sky someone used to watch the street in front of his office intensely. The street which straight leads him to a place where his love is resting on someone’s cupboard carefully wrapped in red & blue envelopes. So what? He still loves his love. The love which makes him runs from Sukanta Setu to 8B in just 7-8 minutes. The love which makes him roams around in the alleys & by lanes of this City with her. The love which makes him awake whole night just to watch someone is sleeping peacefully. The love which made him say her beautiful at the last day of their relation, sitting in a bench in front of Abcos, knowing that this was the last day of their togetherness . The love which made him knelt down for the first time in life to propose her after continuing 5 years of relationship. The love which makes him jump from running Rajdhani Express to kiss someone in front of his friend’s parents, forgetting the existence of any living creature, for the moment at least. The love which creeps in almost invisibly against his self imposed exile. The love which one day suddenly announced its existence proudly when he was sitting at the Airport lounge about to leave for Bangalore.

He thinks of someone who one day suddenly let him go, let him lost in the crowd in midst of strangers in his ever familiar City. The same City which keeps changing color in every season, in every festival, oblivious of someone’s existence. He smirks. He is good. He is good in every possible way. The City gave him enough memory to cherish for rest of his life.

Once he dreamt of a perfect life. A Small happy close knit family but now not only he has to combat with his past but present and future also. There are ever pestering parents to deal with, then there is his MBA and a boss who always eager to get himself out from the firing line. Her disappearance has changed every equation of his life.

Sometimes when he passes in front of Abcos he used to observe the bench closely. What if one day she and he meets somewhere suddenly after years? After long long years on a cold afternoon in Kolkata in front of the bench of the tea stall what will they do? Would she able  sense his smell? Would she able to sense his existence? Probably by then she would have gained a few more kilos and he would have silver lining in his hair. She would have kids and may be turn to Grandma by then. Time would snatch her beauty and he would have wrinkles around his face probably but he would still find her sweet whenever he will set his eyes on her. He knows what he will tell to her that day. You are looking Beautiful.

The Broken Strings

You know it was one of those days of pain. It was one of those days when you embrace the lie as a truth knowingly and always hope for a miracle to happen. Emotions from your past sin tend to came out of you like a magma tossing up from a ruptured volcano. It was one of those suffocating afternoons when you got tired of everything, even of your own life. I was accompanied by cigarettes & J. The half lit, smoke filled room reminded me the trauma of that night again and again. That night that changed everything. J was trying hard to cheer myself up with his guitar. He knows me well. He always sings my favorite songs when my pain gets unbearable like his. The best part of J is that I don’t have to tell something about my mood to him. He can read me far better than anyone else.

 

Two lost soul searching their way out from the labyrinth of Love. Two twisted tale of Love. Two Confused guy caught in the crossroad of life oblivious to their respective destiny. Two strangely similar stories, which revolves around their life and sometime raises question against their existence. Two people trying hard to find solace in each others grief. Why it’s so much difficult to deal with the shattered dreams, broken promises and unrequited love?

It hurts certainly. It hurts to see you in others arm. It hurts when I see myself in the mirror. It hurts when I see people around me insanely in love with each other. It hurts when blood oozes out from my veins and I couldn’t feel the pain. It hurts when my scream didn’t reach to you and got unnoticed and it equally hurts when I look at J only to find his pale face. I didn’t find him smiling for ages. It hurts when I see everyday our love is dying a slow death and I can’t do anything but screaming my heart out. There is no one to blame for, not even you. Sometime all it takes a moment to forget someone and sometimes a lifetime is not even enough to move on. Who knows? May be J is right we have became too backdated in this fast forward world where every emotion comes with a different price tags.

 

Had I wished to, I could adopt your way to chose somebody to deal with the pain but I hadn’t. I want to find bliss in your ignorance. You haven’t had that much of depth even to realize what you have lost, what you left behind. Let me allow to deal with the pain, let me allow to deal with your memories, let me allow to deal with the nightmares; let me allow to deal with the betrayal, let me allow to deal with the rage, let me allow to deal with the hate and let me allow to deal with the unrequited love.

The Wait...

It has been a long wait for you sweetheart and now inevitably I am getting restless. Everyday I   search you in the crowd, in the deserted place and in the every small turn of the road I ever pass by. My world revolves around you and only you. You know you are so addictive that I can’t think beyond you. Every night I look through my window and try to figure you out in the midst of darkness.

How do you look? I hope you are cute, impulsive, graceful and so adorable. You know I like long hair, somewhat straight but don’t make it artificially because that will belittle your image to me. You have to be natural like a spring.

You know girl I am little shy and introvert so don’t mind if I don’t look to smart and cool when we bumped with each other very first time but as time progresses you will eventually get to know me better. As I know I won’t find myself comfortable sitting with you in a new posh restaurant so would you mind if I take you to some cozy corner or rather some informal places on first date?

Well I am good listener so whenever you feel the uncontrollable urge to say anything you can surely call me at any time but let me tell you one thing that I like to be called in the morning during the half trance state of mine. It will seem to me that I am talking to in the dream. The first thing u should tell me is “I Love you” as it will make my day .Oh! One more thing, Please say “I love you” very often as it will keep me alive.

My culinary skills are limited to omelets and teas so don’t expect me to do such stuffs and on a contrary I would rather prefer to have bed tea made by you in the morning. Sometime I will cook for you to woo you but I hope you won’t judge it going by the taste as its all love that trickles down further whenever you would eat it with a smiling face.

Did I tell you that Blue is my favorite colour so please don’t get irritated when most of the time I end up buying a shirt which has a hint of blue. I even use a perfume named “Blue for Men”. What is your favorite colour? You know I would like to see you different shades of colour like fuchsia, pink, purple, lemon and mauve. I hope these colours will compliment you far more than others. By the way I am little shopaholic.

I am fond of kajal so whenever we meet please smudge it religiously so that I can’t take my eyes off you. I like ethnic clothes more than the western ones so please fill your wardrobe with traditional ones. Save the jeans and other things for your Girls day out. I love bangles and anklets so every weekend I will shop it for you. I have been fetish for smell so perfume surely will be shopping list. Just only one request that please don’t go overboard as far as make up is concerned as that will make you look more plastic than real. Simplicity has its own charm and aura.

 You know I like to see different kind of movies that made me think about the issue so please accompany me even if you don’t like these types of movies. I will accompany you to soft romantic types of movies also. Please read my every blog first as they are the kind of seismograph of my mind. Don’t hurt me ever as I can’t handle emotion to well. I am a die hard romantic person. Are you??

I am very liberal so I would give you enough space to breathe freely. I won’t interfere in your privacy. I hope you will love me more than I could possibly love you. Please embrace me tightly whenever I feel low as it will be reason enough for me to regain my confidence there after. I love dreaming. Do you dream? I love to build castle in the air so please stand by me to make them tangible.

When will we meet? I am here just waiting for you girl. Come and embrace me so tightly that even death too alters its own course before coming to me.

Yours forever,

Soumya

(P.S.-This blog is inspired from Aparna and probably it's kind of male version.)

Love with the Dancing Rain

The slight rugged corridors may not be aware of me but this is the place which is most close to my heart, My School. I have passed the most memorable moment here. As I walked down the school corridor I smell an old charm which is so known to me. As they say People smell a fragrance with their eyes and brains first before they smell with their noses, same thing happened with me as well. It’s the place where you lived the most happening time in your entire life which is carefree, inspirational and joyous. Coming from a Co-educational Institute I had my own perception regarding it. Despite having strict norms in place, the co-ed schools see many love stories flourish on Valentine’s Day— under, perhaps, the indulging watchfulness of the teaching staff. It’s amazing to see how the adolescents are eager to explore the adventurous side of their lives. That’s why we always smell a change of mood during the Valentines Day. Well neither I have proposed someone on Valentines Day nor I had an Love affair to remember but still I think every relationship or Love affair has its own charm which sill looms large in every corridor of Co-ed Schools.



It was 28th September when we just got the enough hint for the impending Puja Vacation on Air. I was still preparing my Vow ouch!(Proposal) Lines. Love was brewing over a cup of Coffee, hot cuppa of steaming tea and the gossips (Obviously Male Gossip).I was in love with a class-mate & giving rehearsal of my Proposal Lines for couple of Days .Somehow I couldn’t accumulate enough guts to propose her. So I told one of my friends (who happened to be girl) to convey her about my feelings .As expected the result was negative & I was doomed in a sorrow but my friends somehow convinced me to go with it and tell her about my feelings .It was a regular day as usual at school, just I was restless, looking too & fro at her, somewhat clueless me trying to gauge her reply. She was looking beautiful as usual in her white & blue sari, adjusting her spectacles every now and then. I felt so much hapless every time I looked at her because it’s needs so much courage to tell someone about your special feelings first in your lifetime. My Classmates were throwing me to tell her but I somehow couldn’t manage to tell her. Every time I made up my mind & went to her things had gone messed up and only some meaningless sounds came out of it. I went close to her & looked to her eyes and like every time I just said about some nonsense issues. It was about 4 P.M. in the afternoon when finally, accumulating my last drop of courage I went to her to say something unusual for the first time of my life. She was about to leave the classroom when I called her from the back. She moved to me with her piercing glaze & I felt weakness in my knees. “Its no nonsense time buddy” I murmured to myself & said “I LOVE YOU”. Silence prevailed for next few seconds and to my surprise she said back “I LOVE YOU TOO”.I didn’t know what happened next & I didn’t want to know either. I was so content & happy that I can’t express even today after almost ten years.

It was raining hard the next day and I was touching the dancing rain from my window. I woke up to the smell of sweet & wet earth and it was simply divine.

I just love to see the garden green and happy again. Yes, Rain is here and so is my Love.